


it's different, this time

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bonding, Friendship, Fusion, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Other, Recovery, lapidot if you squint, lapis is so angsty, peridot is a socially awkward clod, why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:39:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7688302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>because of her fusion with jasper, lapis lazuli doesn't want to hurt that way again, ever. she never wants to fuse again. but according to peridot, it'll be different with her. </p><p>can she really trust the gem who captured her to help her feel safe, and whole again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's different, this time

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaand my first steven universe oneshot!! god,, i am so sinful  
> well, i don't have much to say aybout this one? i know it's tagged as lapidot but it's more of a friendship thing ;D  
> again, go ahead and go all out with the constructive criticism because i want to improve and make better fanfic for my fandoms ♡  
> enjoy this lightly angsty idea lmao

lapis lazuli was _not_ happy when she found out that she would be sharing her barn with peridot, to say the least. for one, peridot was a tattletale, who threatened to report quite literally everything to homeworld. she was obnoxious and overly self-absorbed, and she probably wasn't even threatening without her so-called "limb enhancers" anyways. and, of course, _she_ was the one that captured lapis. interrogated her, _abused_ her even.

so to her, it was absolutely confounding and actually nerve-grinding when the diminutive pest proposed a fusion.

"i promise: it's dfferent, this time! i... _i'm_ different this time."

lapis shot a distrustful, withering glance towards the small, green gem. she _did_ seem more harmless than she had almost a year ago, now that her enhancers were gone and _she_ was the one pleading. lapis almost laughed when she found out that the little rat was practically _useless_ without them. it downright satisfied her to see peridot lose everything she valued, too. and she still didn't trust peridot, no matter how tiny and desperate she was. there must be ulterior motives, hidden intentions. after all, it was _peridot_. one could never be sure around her.

perhaps she was trying to manipulate lapis somehow, or do what jasper had done to her.

a shudder ran through the slender, blue gem. 

_jasper._

last time she had fused, it was with jasper, and that had been a literal nightmare. neither gave the other the chance to rest, and it was a constant war for dominance, for freedom. she was always so tired, always so drained to keep them both trapped under the crushing, black ocean. and then, after being freed from the horror that was malachite, jasper had found her, somehow, and she, too, had proposed a fusion.

but she said no; no more.

the last fusion had taken everything from her; yet, she genuinely felt incomplete without jasper. as if she wasn't the same gem. as if she was missing the one thing that made her the lapis lazuli she was. she felt almost _unsafe_ , being apart from the cruel brute. she actually felt a desire to go back to those days, with the constant abuse and endless warring. maybe, just maybe... she felt like she deserved it? she felt the familiar pressure under her eyes, the hot tears welling up.

of course not. steven had taught her that; taught her that she was worth it. so why would she subject herself to peridot's tricks and manipulation, subject herself to feeling worthless and helpless again?

_no more._

"lazuli?"

peridot's annoyingly squeaky voice brought her out of her thoughts. the gem looked worried. genuinely worried. but it didn't reach her as she realized she never gave a verbal reply. as if there were words that existed that could adequately express her vehement thoughts and emotions towards jasper, towards peridot, towards the thought of _fusion_ itself. 

she looked the pleading gem in her wide, hopeful eyes with what she hoped to be such potent hatred and rage that she would look away in shame. sadly, she just smiled nervously, hoping for a "yes." she clenched her fists, attempted to steady her quavering voice as she spoke:

"never with the likes of you."

peridot's face fell, and a mixture of both shock and confusion painted her pointed features. "what- what do you-"

" _never with scum like you!_ you... it's because of you that i'm back on this miserable planet. this is all your fault. and now you're taking over  _my_ house, and actually trying to fuse with me?

peridot quite literally took a step back, and she, too, clenched her small, green fists in what appeared to be... _anger?_ she actually had the _nerve_ to be angry?

"you're no different than the others. you're just going to use me again! you're just going-"

lapis couldn't continue. she surprised herself with an unintentional gasp as her throat closed up on her. she looked away; she didn't want her tormentor to see her crying. swiftly unfolding her water wings, she took off and glided to the silo. she heard peridot squeak, "lazuli, wait!" she couldn't care less about how peridot felt, though. landing gently on the sun-warmed metal, she laid down and curled up, putting her face in her hands and trying to recollect her thoughts.

"lazuli!" she heard again. slowly readjusting her position so it seemed like she didn't care, lapis saw peridot looking up towards where she was laying. she had to admit, she _was_ interested in why the gem wanted to fuse with her, but she highly suspected that it would be something shallow, because peridot would never know how deep a fusion runs. she could not _possibly_  know that fusion is not to be taken lightly.

"lazuli, give me a chance! i thought we were on what the humans call 'good terms!' i acknowledge that this proposal is quite 'last minute,' but..."

lapis peered over the edge of the silo with dull, bored eyes. good terms? _seriously?_ last minute? _no kidding._

"...steven told me that you were still exhausted from your last fusion," she continued tentatively. "he- he said that- that jasper wanted to fuse with you again, and... well, from what i gather, it didn't go very well...?"

she returned to staring at the lilac sky, gripping her skirt tightly. steven told her a lot of things... he really trusted her, didn't he? 

"my- my point is!" peridot corrected herself quickly, "fusion with jasper likely didn't go well, because your relationship isn't- isn't l-like percy and pierre!"

lapis almost choked we she heard that. "...what?" she asked.

peridot visibly cringed. she almost felt sympathy for the small gem. "the fusio- no, crystal gem 'garnet' explained that she was like percy and pierre. what- what she means by that is that the components of her fusion are great with each other! they... they're compatible! they get along, and are a good combination in many ways, like percy and pierre."

considering this, lapis sat on the edge of the silo so she could actually look at the gem. "you think we're a _'good combination?'"_

"given we had the chance to try, and we can both understand each other, i do not see the harm in trying. in fact, with your hydrokinesis and size, and my intelligence and my... what did steven call it? 'metal powers?'"

why did her answers have to be so long? they didn't even answer her question, and just showcased her over-inflated ego.

"...based on these factors, yes, i do believe we may be a 'good combination.'"

lapis unfolded her water wings once more and glided down to land in front of peridot. strangely, the gem's argument _did_ make sense to her. her anger and hatred had dissipated, and instead, curiosty and even an urge to _try_ filled her. peridot stood her ground, and looked up hopefully once more. her unspoken question weighed lapis down. she did want to try, honestly. perhaps it was hoping too much, but possibly this gem could make her feel safe and whole again?

lapis surprised herself when she answered, "let's give it a shot."

peridot smiled so widely, and her eyes sparkled, reflecting the crimson sun, lazily sinking below the horizon. the same warm stars that she saw from homeworld many thousands of years ago twinkled at her, which filled her with both comfort and uncertainty. she turned away from the darkening sky and took peridot's outreached hand with a rather forced smile. her hand was calloused and warm. their fingers intertwined tightly, firmly.

she placed her hand on peridot's shoulder, and she felt peridot's hand on her waist. unsuredly, at first, they spun in a slow, small circle. the smile came naturally to lapis as she relaxed in the warm light of the setting sun, and she pulled peridot closer. their gems began to glow gently. hands still clasped together, peridot twirled and let go as she fell sideways into the crook of lapis' right arm. 

a light enveloped the pair as every fiber of their beings mixed and formed a new, larger gem that stood proudly, chest puffed out and hands splayed wide. the fusion's four hands manipulated ribbons of water from the small lake beside the barn. it felt... interesting to use the new power- no, it wasn't new. at least, not to half of the tall fusion. they- she looked up at the silo, now almost eye-level. 

she sat down and leaned against it, watching the stars' light grow brighter, the twilight becoming deeper, the sun disappearing from her sight. she felt warm, relaxed, and contented. she felt safer, too, now that she had more power and new capabilities. it was strange, but having a new gem within her- no, being a part of her- felt natural. it was awkward to move, but she felt so much more emotionally whole. this warm, friendly fusion filled her with warmth, and she didn't have to fight herself for her own freedom.

it was so different from being malachite. malachite had a malevolent aura, an intention to hurt and kill. she had a desire for revenge. but this fusion, whatever it chose to be called, was comfortable and warm. she wanted to comfort herself and make herself feel safe and whole and understood. she spoke aloud to herself:

"you... i'm not alone now."

she replied, "no, you aren't. we both may be far from homeworld, but those clods used both you and i, so that's not home anymore."

she considered this, then said, "they did. earth is our home now, so even if i am alone, i will protect it. it's where i'm free from them."

"you're not alone, remember? like you previously stated, this is our home now. _our_ home."

"...our home."

"we're not alone anymore. i have the crystal gems, and steven, and you. all traitorous clods, working together for optimal efficiency and safety."

the fusion smiled at her own words. she was no longer alone. one part of her forgave the other, because she  _was_ understood. the realization made the fusion laugh, a loud noise filled with mirth and joy.

it really was different this time.


End file.
